By the time you finish reading this sentence, a divorce will have taken place in America. Every 13 seconds, an American couple legally ends their vows to each other. We are among the top 6 nations in the world when it comes to high divorce rates, with Russia leading the way. In the world of lawyers and judges, January isn’t just the start of the year; it’s known as “Divorce Month” because couples may start their research before the end of the year, but they don’t file until January. The busiest week of the month? Most divorces are filed between January 12-16.
It makes sense when you think about it. Who wants to ruin the family Christmas with divorce papers neatly bound in a red ribbon jutting out of a stocking? Merry Christmas, please pack your stuff and go? Or, maybe the holidays really do bring out the worst in people and that last holiday dinner was just one too many.
But, January isn’t even the busiest month. Peak times for divorce filings are the months of March and August. Professionals estimate that this is because of annual holidays and the school calendar.
Who is Getting Divorced?
Though the news puts the spotlight on every politician that has marital problems, they aren’t even close to the top of the list when it comes to those most likely to divorce. Dancers make up 43% of the divorced population. Architectural Engineers account for the smallest portion of the divorced population at 1.78%, and Legislators come in at a mere 8.74%.
As you might expect, religion has an impact on divorce rates as well. If you and your spouse are religious, you are 14% less likely to get divorced. If neither of you are religious, you are 14% more likely to get divorced. Even your political views have an impact. Liberals account for 37% of divorces, Moderates account for 33%, and Conservatives account for just 28% of all divorces.
Why People Divorce
The number one reason cited for divorce is “lack of commitment,” which makes sense when you consider that divorce is literally ending a commitment for life. Infidelity is another big one, but one of the most common issues that doesn’t get much light is, simply put, boredom.
Even couples who talk regularly find that they talk about the same things all the time. That transfers over to other areas of life, like sex. In the bedroom, when things start to go stale, it’s easy for the eyes to wander. In fact, your sex life could make a statement about your marriage in general. Mental and emotional connections between people who are attracted to each other often spark sexual inclinations. In other words, if you’re talking about things your partner has no interest in, you might find that same lack of enthusiasm in the bedroom. On the other hand, if you introduce new topics, discuss things you are both passionate about, or show some added interest in what your partner has to say, you might find a new spark in the bedroom.
What’s the key to staying married in America? There are a lot of things that can put a strain on a marriage, but the bottom line is that people tend to forget to put their focus on the relationship itself. Finances, health, and even politics can take the center stage all too often, and as a result, the details of the marriage get lost in everything else.
Go on dates, find time for lively conversation, and be open about your needs in the bedroom. Remember that a certificate of marriage is not an indicator of mind-reading abilities. Each person has a responsibility to communicate with their partner on multiple levels. That’s WITH their partners, not about them, so keep your marriage in your home and off of social media if you want to keep it healthy.