Conspiracy Theories That Are Just Plain Nuts

Conspiracy Theories That Are Just Plain Nuts
Conspiracy Theories That Are Just Plain Nuts

For every urban legend, there’s a sliver of truth. For every conspiracy theory, there are true believers. While many once-outrageous conspiracy theories have turned out to be true, there is laundry list of notions that appear pretty crazy. Admittedly, some of yesterday’s X-Files episodes have turned out to be right. But Scully and Mulder aside, most people agree these popular conspiracies are downright nuts.

Alex Jones

To start things off, the face of InfoWars has earned his own category. In some mind-blowing twist of fate, this guy has real-life White House Press Corps credentials despite some outlandish views. Here are the highlights.
9/11 Attacks: Jones has pretty much asserted that the 9/11 terrorist attacks were an inside job. He claims they were a “federal operation” and the Osama Bin Laden was a “CIA asset.” He released a 2005 film called “Martial Law 9-11: The Rise of the Police State,” claiming the hijackers were basically government employees on the clock.
Sandy Hook Killings: The shock jock has gone as far as to claim the Sandy Hook school murders were a hoax. He asserts that fake actors were used to pull the wool over the eyes of the world and that the school was closed at least a year before the shootings.
Gay Frogs: Now we really enter the Twilight Zone. Jones claims that chemicals in the water, including fluoride, are turning the frogs gay. Yup, gay frogs. Why? Your guess is as good as any.
Naturally, Jones is completely on board with most controversies including the Obama birth certificate, Globalist world domination and many others.

Reptile Elite

If you ever read “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy,” you know two things: The answer to everything is 42 and human beings are the third smartest creatures on the planet. Dolphins are second and the little mice that control the entire planet are first. Another theory, that was popularized by BBC sports columnists David Icke, is that the people in power are actually shapeshifting, extra-terrestrial reptiles. He ranked Pres. George W. Bush, the Queen of England, and singer-songwriter and actor Kris Kristofferson among them. Yes, it’s true. Hitchhiker’s guide authors Douglas Adams and Eoin Colfer got it wrong. Reptile people, not mice, are running the planet.

I Buried Paul

When the Beatles’ John Lennon spoke the words “I buried Paul” in the song “Strawberry Fields Forever” it set off an ongoing conspiracy that Paul McCartney is dead. This may cause the shapeshifting lizard Queen Elizabeth some consternation because she knighted him in 2004. Whoever the imposter has been for the last 50 years, he’s got a terrific singing voice.

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The New World Order

Between the Illuminati, Freemasons, Zionists, Skull and Bones and the Knights Templar, it’s difficult to keep track of which secret society is truly running the world. It certainly can’t be all of them. That would involve an entirely new conspiracy theory. In all likelihood, it’s either George Soros or the Brain from the Steven Spielberg animation series, “Pinky and The Brain.”

Global Warming

It may be difficult to say that this once prominent “theory” is still relevant. After all, Al Gore changed it from Global Warming to “Climate Change” after the Earth inconveniently didn’t burn up. It’s true that the climate changes four times per year (winter, spring, summer, fall) and has gone through a series of cooling periods that resulted in Ice Ages and warming periods throughout the planet’s history, like today. There are a growing number of “Climate Deniers” that think this conspiracy theory is just plain nuts. Apparently, only Queen Elizabeth and Kris Kristofferson know for sure.